“I‘ve always loved exploring the world and had travelled solo extensively in my 20s before I met and married my first husband, Terry. Even once I was attached and holding down a serious job, Terry and I would always fully maximise our 25-day holiday allowance, heading straight into meetings after long-haul flights and making the most of all the long weekends. I’d notched up visits to 40 countries by the time I was 40,” explains Sue Ross.
The 55-year-old from Buckinghamshire, England, now has more than 4,400 followers on Instagram @suewherewhywhat, has published hundreds of inspiring blog posts and more than 360 videos on her YouTube channel for women over 40 who would love to travel solo. Here she shares her journey with woman&home.
“On 17 December 2014, I suddenly found myself widowed. Terry went in for a heart operation and I never saw him again. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“Everyone rallied around to support me, but as the new year dawned, I wasn’t ready to return to work and took a sabbatical. A friend was going skiing in Canada and had space in her room. So, despite not having skied for 20 years, I just upped and left.”
Travelling through grief
Sue at a Tropic of Capricorn marker
(Image credit: Sue Ross)
“I knew I was running away from the pain, loss and empty house that was full of so many memories. But once travelling, I found I could focus on something else, and the ski lessons certainly gave my brain and body a new challenge!
“Over the next few months, I accepted invitations to join my sister in the Greek islands and a friend’s road trip in Oregon.
“A turning point was a solo break to Kauai in Hawaii when I realised I was able to chat to strangers and share my story without breaking down or causing them distress.”
How I seized a chance to travel more
“Later in my sabbatical, while I was away in Borneo with another good friend, a restructuring at work meant I was offered redundancy. Having been with the same company for 18 years, I jumped at the chance to take the generous redundancy package.
“Terry’s death and my subsequent experiences away from the ‘rat race’ had shown me what was important in life. I had no desire for work to become all-encompassing again. As the anniversary of Terry’s death came around, I was visiting my family in Australia.
“The invites for holidays were starting to dry up, yet I was clearer than ever that life was for living, so I wrote a list of 117 adventures I wanted to experience. Some other family bereavements, coupled with my redundancy lump sum, meant I’d managed to pay off my mortgage.”
“I worked out I could live and travel frugally using money from my investments, so I spent the next few years ticking off goals from my list”
Beginning a travel blog
(Image credit: Sue Ross)
“I’d never even read, let alone written, a blog – but with the encouragement of my grief counsellor, while I was away, I started to write online about how I was feeling instead of pretending I was fine.
“I’d assumed hardly anyone would read it, so I was surprised and encouraged when friends and family said they enjoyed my writing and how much it helped them understand what I was going through.
“It was in Bolivia months later when I made the decision to turn my ramblings into a travel blog. I figured I couldn’t be the only woman in her 40s travelling alone and looking for tips.
“My trips had started in such sadness, and as a way for me to run away from all the pain at home. Writing a travel blog felt like a way to turn my journeys into something positive, a step towards a new future of joy and adventure.
“Even now that the blog is successful and I have quite a following on YouTube and Instagram, I don’t see myself as a blogger, more as a traveller who takes people with them. It gives me such joy when followers and subscribers message to say my tips and advice have helped.”
Alone but not lonely
Sue at the Ice Hotel in Canada
(Image credit: Sue Ross)
“I’ve made friends on yoga retreats and fitness camps around the world and realised I am capable of coping with so much more than I ever thought.
“I’m completely honest in what I write, sharing the hairy moments – like the time my room was broken into while I slept in St Lucia – as well as the highlights.
“I love to feature ‘off the beaten track’ experiences such as an incredible hike in Grenada when a local guide accompanied me through tiny trails in the rainforest to the most incredible waterfalls.”
A new partnership
Sue and Larry on their wedding day
(Image credit: Sue Ross)
“Completely unexpectedly, I met an amazing new partner a couple of years ago, Larry, and we married this May before completing the Camino de Santiago 500km hike across Spain for our honeymoon.
“Together with Larry, I notched up visiting my 81st country on a Norwegian cruise recently, and this September we’re setting off on a serious adventure.
“Inspired by the first series of Race across the World, we’re travelling from London to Singapore by land together – a journey which will take three months. I hope he realises what he’s taken on!”
An incredible confidence booster
(Image credit: Sue Ross)
“Travel has provided me with such incredible experiences, grown my confidence and helped me heal. I’d encourage anyone keen to see more of the world to get out there and do it.
“Start simple, build up your confidence and chat to fellow travellers and locals along the way to get as much advice and input as you can.”
