Meet the ‘real’ Riot Women: the band gigging through menopause

BBC1’s six-part drama Riot Women is sure to have us all glued to our screens – not least because it’s written by Happy Valley’s Sally Wainwright.

Actors Joanna Scanlan, Rosalie Craig, Tamsin Greig, Lorraine Ashbourne and Amelia Bullmore play five older women who form a punk band in a moving story of the power of female friendship, resilience and midlife. The show is a work of fiction, rather than based on a particular true story or one particular band.

That being said, there are real women over 50 rocking out in bands across the country. We met a five-piece, all-female group called The Ukadelix to find out what its like.

(Image credit: Ukadelix)

Just like the Riot Women, The Ukadelix spend their evenings playing live to crowded venues – though unlike the Hebden Bridge-based Riot Women, The Ukedelix gig around their home turf of London, where they’ve built up quite a following. Some fans come to almost every gig and the hardcore ones call themselves the Groupadelix. In 2020, the band also released a self-titled CD.

While the band was conceived in 2015, its roots were planted five years earlier when harmonica and ukulele player Gill Abela met Heather Gilmore, an accordion and fellow ukulele player, in a pub and was invited to play in a band she was part of. When that fell apart, Gill suggested that they start their own group.

Next to join was Gill’s friend Kirsty McNeil, who plays ukulele and drums. Kirsty knew Gill’s ex-partner and at Gill’s 35th birthday party, they met for the first time. The final two members were Heather’s neighbour, Michele Petit-Jean, who also plays the ukulele, and her flatmate, bass guitarist Angie Bain.

For all five members, music is a way of life and they aren’t showing signs of slowing down any time soon.

‘I STARTED THE BAND WHEN I WAS 55’

Gill Abela from Ukadelix playing an electric guitar and singing into a microphone — “It’s incredible when the crowd sings along to songs we’ve written” says Gill Abela, one of the band’s songwriters

Gill Abela, 65, plays harmonica and ukulele, and is a music specialist who teaches adults with learning difficulties. She has a son, Oscar, 30, who is a sound engineer. “The Ukadelix started off as a ukulele band,” Gill explains.

“We had a bit of percussion, but gradually introduced the other instruments. It’s not really a ukulele band any more, but the name stuck.

“Today, Angie is the perfectionist, Heather is the organiser, Michele is the cheeky one and Kirsty does the band’s social media. We all sing and pick songs, then Angie and Heather work out the arrangements. Michele and I are the songwriters, and we have a brilliant sound engineer called Martin.

“When we hear the crowd singing along to the music we’ve written ourselves, it’s incredible.

“I had learnt to play the guitar at 14, and was in bands through my teens and 20s, but hadn’t played seriously since my son was born. When I hit 50, I thought, if I don’t take it back up now, I never will. I’m a music teacher and travel by bike to visit my students, so a ukulele was an easy instrument to transport with me.

“In the early days, it was just me, Heather and Kirsty. We hadn’t been playing together long when Heather landed us our first gig at a festival in a local park. But things didn’t take off until 2019, when we found our style.

“I had heard someone playing harmonica at a party and thought, ‘I’d love to play that,’ so I had lessons, then continued teaching myself through videos. Then Kirsty brought in percussion.

“The only real row we’ve had was picking a photo for the CD. No one liked any of them, so we ended up using a picture of Michele’s dog.

“I’m not going to pretend being in a band is easy, though. You don’t get to this stage in life without things going wrong. I have carpal tunnel, which causes pain in my hand and fingers, but I won’t stop playing.

“Music helps you heal. I don’t know what I’d do without it.”

‘CARVING OUT THAT TIME FOR MYSELF WAS PRECIOUS’

Kirsty McNeil from Ukadelix, playing the drums — “I once froze onstage, in front of a big a audience,” says Kirsty McNeil, the band’s drummer

Kirsty McNeil, 57, is the band’s drummer. She’s a journalist and lives in Walthamstow with her husband Pete, an actor, and their daughter Carmel, who’s 19. “I managed bands in my 20s, but I was so used to being behind the scenes that when Gill suggested I join The Ukadelix as a ukulele player shortly before my 50th birthday, it took me ages to agree,” says Kirsty.

“However, after a lot of thought, I decided to give it a go. While I loved the ukulele, I’d always had a penchant for percussion. When we decided to diversify, drums seemed like the perfect transition.

“For my 50th, the band bought me a snare drum, then I added to it. As the drummer, I have the most kit, so lots of lifting, which is good for the bingo wings!

“When the band started, my daughter Carmel was only 10, so the time I carved out for myself was precious. Now she’s older, but I’m still busy. Yet whatever is going on, we get together and play.

“Of course, there have been times when life has become overwhelming, such as when my mum had a fall and needed more care. I fell apart for a while during perimenopause and menopause: sometimes I would leave essential bits of kit at home and have to dash off. I even froze in the middle of a song in front of a big audience.

“Gigging isn’t easy, especially if I’ve travelled miles in traffic only to play for 20 minutes. At times like these, I’ve considered leaving, but I have always stopped myself. All of the hard stuff in life gets offset by being in the band.

“We have been blown away by the support we get. Heather once said, ‘Every time we step onstage, we’re making a political statement.’ I think that’s so true because we are older women, doing what we love, in a traditionally male-dominated business.”

‘LOTS OF WOMEN ASK US HOW TO GET STARTED. I SAY: JUST PLAY’

Michele Petit-Jean from Ukadelix, playing an electric guitar on stage — “Make it up and you will find the magic happening,” says Michele Petit-Jean, who plays ukelele and guitar and co-writes the band’s songs with Gill

Michele Petit-Jean, 71, plays the ukulele and, as an illustrator, creates the artwork for the band. She divides her life between Hastings and London, and has a dog called Dulcie. “Growing up, there was always music at home. My mum and grandma played the piano, and the latter gave me a ukulele when I was eight,” she says.

“For my 15th birthday, I received an acoustic guitar. In my 20s, I headed off to the big smoke, and met Angie. We ended up in a couple of bands together, playing the pub circuit.

“Years ago, I donated two of my old ukuleles to a charity shop and, shortly after, Heather brought Gill round for a ukulele lesson. To my surprise, Gill had my two ukuleles! She had been thrilled to have found them for a fiver each. We couldn’t stop laughing at the coincidence.

“I’m the oldest member of the band, so I have a few health problems, such as arthritis in my fingers and toes. Performing helps, as it loosens them up, and rehearsals are a lot of fun.

“Lots of women ask us how to get started in their own bands, and I say to them, just play. Make it up and you will find the magic happening.”

‘THE BAND HAS BEEN A LIFESAVER’

Angie Bain from Ukadelix, playing bass guitar — “The impact our music can have is amazing,” says Angie Bain, the bass guitar player

Angie Bain, 66, plays bass guitar, and is an actor. Her partner Ged is also an actor, and she shares a flat with Ukadelix band member Michele.

“When I was 10, I formed a band with my friends called the Melody Makers. Later, at drama school, being able to play the clarinet snagged me my first job, taking care of the music on a folk country show. My acting work now is varied, ranging from musical theatre to film and TV roles.

“Through Covid and periods of unemployment, being in The Ukadelix has been an absolute lifesaver. During lockdown, each of us would practise at home using recordings and, when we could, we’d get together in a park.

“The impact our music can have is amazing. After a show once, a woman told me she was having a difficult time caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s disease. She said, ‘It bucks me up when I come and see you, and makes me feel good about the world.’ That stayed with me. It makes all the hard work worthwhile.”

‘I push the others – we don’t want it to get stale’

Heather Gilmore from Ukadelix, playing an accordion and singing into a microphone — “I’ve always loved harmonies,” says Heather Gilmore, who plays accordion, ukulele and melodica

Heather Gilmore, 69, plays accordion, ukulele and melodica, and is an actor. She has a daughter, Jazz, who’s 30. She says, “I’ve always loved harmonies. As a child, I’d sing along to songs and learnt the piano. Then at college, I played clarinet and keyboard.

“After working as a PA for a few years, at 27, I decided to do a community theatre arts degree.

“I first experimented with the accordion when I was working at a community arts group.

“In The Ukadelix, I am the one who pushes everything. I’ll sort out rehearsals and nudge people to be working on new songs because we don’t want it to get stale.

“There are challenges, as I have an eye condition called retinitis pigmentosa. It’s been a slow, degenerative process, and now I have around 5% of my sight left. In one eye, all I see is light. I’ve had to develop ways of coping. I can’t glance at chord sheets like everyone else, so I write them out in massive letters.