Being stuck in a job you dislike is tough, particularly when you can see no way out.
It’s an issue Mel Robbins, who tried her hand at multiple careers, knows well, and so asked psychologist Dr Meg Jay in a recent podcast episode ‘how do people begin to solve this problem of figuring out who they want to be or what they’re interested in?’
Dr Jay’s advice for anyone in a job they dislike or feel they aren’t even in the right industry was to answer these four questions:
1. What are you good at?
2. What do you enjoy?
3. What might pay my bills and give me the lifestyle I want or need?
4. What does the world need?
The reason these four are important, Dr Jay goes on to explain, is they will help decipher which of your interests are best to pursue as a career, and which are best to keep as hobbies or interests you don’t do everyday for work.
This is something she learned the hard way: “I’m good at a lot of things I don’t enjoy. So part of my young adult trajectory was figuring out just because I was good at something, didn’t mean that I had to go do it. And that it actually maybe wasn’t the best part of myself to be focusing on.
“I also enjoy a lot of things that I’m not that good at! So those are hobbies. Those are probably not careers.” she says, explaining that if you’re not particularly good at something, it’s not going to pay your bills or give you the lifestyle that you want.
Thinking about what the world needs might seem like a big question, but it’s “often where purpose comes from,” Dr Jay says. “It also helps to pay bills if the world needs what you have to offer.” So, thinking about it in this sense, as what you can offer in terms of being good at something or passionate about it, makes it a much simpler task. Maybe the world needs to experience your culinary skills to cheer them up, or needs to find a happy smile and caring personality while they’re shopping in a store.
Once you’ve got your four lists, cross check them and see if each interest or role that you’ve written for each also works for the other questions on Dr Jay’s list. Narrowing them down, you’ll be left with a selection of jobs that can help give you an idea of what you want to do going forward.
Lots of Mel’s fans related to feeling lost in their careers, with many sharing their own experiences of taking the plunge and leaving their jobs. One shared, “I know this feeling too well. At 40, I walked away from everything. My career, my country, my safety net, and started over from zero with my two daughters. On paper it made no sense, but staying would have cost me my soul.”
Another said, “Completely relate to this!! Those four questions revealed to me my purpose years ago and ultimately, what I wanted to contribute to the world.”
While a third added, “So many people feel stuck in jobs they hate because they think it’s their only option. Grateful for content like this that reminds us we can take back control and rebuild the life we want.”
