Karina Ward, 49, has been a surrogate mother for two sets of friends. A hospital counsellor, she lives with her husband, Tim, 61, and children, Jayden, 14, and Kayla, 13, in St Brelade, Jersey. Here she tells woman&home why and how she gave her friends the greatest gifts of their lives.
“Little could Sue and I imagine when we became friends in 2003 that I would give birth to her babies,” Karina begins.
“We first met in 1994, when I was 19 and started working as a medical secretary at the local hospital in Carlisle. It wasn’t until 2003 that we became the best of friends, bonding over a bottle of wine and the heartbreak of our first marriages failing. By that point, Sue was 36, and had been trying for a baby for seven years, with many rounds of failed IVF already behind her.
“As our friendship grew, I made Sue a promise: if I could have children, one day I’d carry a baby for her. She laughed nervously, but I meant it.
“Then, in January 2006, I moved to Jersey and Sue was my first visitor to the island.
“I went on to meet Tim and when we married in 2009, Sue was our bridesmaid. Just days before our wedding, I found out I was pregnant. After our 12-week scan, I flew to Carlisle to tell Sue in person, reiterating my promise that after I had completed my own family, I would carry a baby for her.
“Our son, Jayden, was born in 2010, followed by our daughter, Kayla, in 2011. I told Sue, ‘Two for us. Now it’s your turn.’
“Years after my original offer, Sue couldn’t believe I still meant it. She cried, but pushed away any hope – she had lived through such heartbreak, she couldn’t let herself imagine that this would be any different.”
Making it happen
“Both Tim and Sue’s husband, Paul, were wonderfully supportive of the idea. Surrogacy hadn’t been done in Jersey before, so we travelled to London for health checks and counselling. The counsellor asked if I’d struggle to hand over the baby, but I knew without a doubt that the child would always be Sue’s.
“In October 2013, two fertilised embryos were transferred into my womb and, eight weeks later, I called Sue with a surprise: ‘The doctor says the heartbeat is strong… and you’re having twins!’
“As the pregnancy progressed, Sue moved in to help with Jayden and Kayla, while I went on bed rest. She looked after my babies while I nurtured hers.
“In June 2014, with Tim, Sue and Paul by my side, Lydia and Luca were born by caesarean. Seeing Sue holding her twins, I was so proud of her.
“Although I did feel a natural hormonal surge of love for the babies I’d carried, I didn’t have pangs of separation when they returned to Carlisle three weeks later. It wasn’t a mother/child bond; it was something beautiful, but different.”
“All the children know their unique stories”
“While I was recovering post-birth, my anaesthetist, Daniel, checked on me. I’d asked him to be my anaesthetist because we were already friends through our work at the hospital, and he’d done a fantastic job during Kayla’s birth. As he squeezed my hand, he said that this incredible day would stay in his mind forever.
“I later heard on the grapevine that Daniel and his husband, Hilario, then 41 and 38, were looking into adoption. Daniel had become such a special friend that, with Tim’s unwavering support, I sent Daniel a text one evening offering to be their surrogate. He later told me they didn’t sleep that night.
“Six months after, Hilario and I flew to London for the embryo transfer. Isabella was born in November 2016, and two years later, I was their surrogate again, giving birth to Sophie, now six.
“I kept post-birth hugs with the babies to just a few minutes, before handing them to their parents. Again, I felt a natural bond, but never thought of the babies as mine.”
Karina gave birth for Daniel and Hilario
(Image credit: Karina Ward)
The practicalities
“All the children know their unique stories and our families have blended beautifully. Jayden and Kayla simply think our set-up is normal, as they’ve never known any different.
“They both spoke about surrogacy in their primary school assemblies, so I know they’re proud of me.
“We go on holiday with Sue, Paul and the twins every year, and whenever they visit us in Jersey, we get together with Daniel, Hilario and the girls too. We have a big reunion planned to celebrate my 50th this year.
“Surrogacy for me was about giving family to people I loved. I did it for love, never money. The intended parents covered the cost of lost earnings, but expenses were easy to navigate following our motto of ‘friendship first’.
“Sue and Paul, then Daniel and Hilario, paid for maternity clothes and a cleaner post-birth while I recovered. Daniel and Hilario also paid for a therapist I needed to prove I was good to go again.
“I was entitled to maternity leave, but as I didn’t have a baby to look after, I just took six weeks off each time. I’m so happy I’ve given people I care deeply about an entire lifetime of love.”
