I’m calling it; we need to stop normalising the lengths working mums go to during the summer to juggle work and childcare.
Earlier this week, we asked 12 working mums about how they juggle the school summer holidays. The answers were candid, sobering, and many of them left me feeling sad. And despite a touching dose of humour in the answers, I didn’t find them funny. While I’m in awe of the lengths mums go to take care of their families without abandoning their careers, I’ve never been more convinced that the UK needs a childcare revolution.
During summer, working parents – especially mums – are no longer just managing a careful balancing act of office hours and after-school activities while helping with homework and keeping up with household chores. We’re running a full-scale circus, complete with wholesome snacks served during intervals and a meticulous risk assessment plus a fire evacuation plan.
The summer hustle turns working mums into hostage negotiators, persuading kids to attend summer clubs when all they want to do is relax on the sofa after a hectic year. (Us too, kids.) We morph into productivity ninjas, skillfully slotting tasks into pockets of time when the interruptions are fewer (usually when they’re glued to screens), and achieving more with a day of childcare than we ever did in a week of our pre-parenthood lives.
It’s both remarkable and utterly frustrating. How are women not running the world when keeping all these balls in the air is just part of our normal summer routine? Why does the gender pay gap persist when working mothers have proven their ability to strategise, problem-solve, mediate and multitask better than any bro ever could?
I joke, of course, but only a little bit. Earlier this week, I came across a social media post from a fellow mum seeking advice: “Working mums, I need your help. How do you get work done over the summer holidays while the kids are home? Mine are 5, 8, and 10. Looking forward to hearing what works or doesn’t!”
Deputy Editor Heidi Scrimgeour’s three children playing together when they were little.
(Image credit: Heidi Scrimgeour)
My heart leapt and sank simultaneously because, on the one hand, I’m so proud to be part of a vibrant online community of working mums who cheer each other on and freely share tips for keeping a career on the rails whilst raising kids.
But on the other hand, I’m worn out and frustrated by the UK’s failing childcare system, which forces women into such untenable, exhausting juggling acts every summer. We only have 18 summers with our kids (apparently) – must we really spend them writing emails in the park and shushing them during Zoom calls?
We only have 18 summers with our kids (apparently) – must we really waste them writing emails in the park and shushing them during Zoom calls?
And don’t get me started on the horribly depressing trend urging mothers to get up at 5am during the summer so they can get a jump start on their working day before the kids are up. I mean GO YOU, obviously, if that routine really floats your boat. But we’re already sleep-deprived, must we give away yet more of the good stuff? If that’s what we’re resorting to just to get our inbox cleared during the holidays, then I think it’s time we took to the streets to riot until we get affordable childcare for all.
The UK’s childcare system lags behind many other countries in both quality and affordability. According to The Fawcett Society, public spending on childcare is insufficient, and a recent Coram report revealed that holiday childcare costs are up 6%, meaning parents can expect to spend £1,000 per child on summertime childcare.
Meanwhile, against the backdrop of this financial burden, social media bombards mums with pressure to be especially perfect during the trickiest month of the year. Give your kids magical memories, urge the Instagrammers, who never admit to shouting at their kids out of overwhelm. Don’t drop any balls at work because we’re paying you to do a job, not half-ass it while you entertain your offspring, is the message that many workplaces send, loud and clear.
Not mine, I hasten to add. A flexible working culture is just one of many reasons why I love my job. But for many mums, the maths just doesn’t compute. We have to give up work if we want to have kids but we can’t afford to have kids if we don’t earn. Little wonder, then, that many mums are just rolling up their sleeves and going to work – quite literally – at the same time as raising their kids. Of course it’s not ideal – not for employers, not for frazzled mums, and probably not for the kids either. So perhaps it’s time we stopped normalising this precarious juggling act and demanded better for working mums.
Except the problem is, we’re too busy holding down jobs and cutting up grapes to take to the streets to lead an affordable childcare revolution. Must we literally do everything?
We’re too busy holding down jobs and cutting up grapes to take to the streets to lead an affordable childcare revolution. Must we literally do everything ourselves?
Trying to care for kids long-term while working leads to burnout: fact. Imagine you’re meant to be working from home but decide to drive halfway across the country during office hours while fielding calls instead. That’s what juggling work with inadequate childcare is like—at worst, reckless, and at best, naive to think no one will notice and no harm will be done.
For me, self-employment was the solution but even that flexibility came at a price—we made financial sacrifices, struggled to make ends meet at times (curse you, late-paying clients) and I missed out on more than 15 years’ worth of workplace pension contributions and promotions. No wonder many mums decide giving up the juggle, at least for a season, is the lesser of two evils.
Ultimately, we have to stop normalising the lengths we go to as mums to make our working lives work. Push the problem upwards, and let’s keep sharing our stories in the hope that society might soon wake up to the fact that this crazy circus of a system is literally serving no-one. And least of all the kids.
