We’ve asked the experts to share the signs you could be an ‘almond mom’ and top tips for encouraging healthy eating habits in kids.
If you’re a keen TikTok user, you’ve probably come across the term ‘almond mom’ before – but what exactly is the niche (and problematic) parenting style that appears to be steeped in diet culture? Well, it all started with a clip of former model Yolanda Hadid encouraging her daughter to eat ‘a couple of almonds’ after she complained of feeling ‘weak’ with hunger. Just like ‘boy moms’, the ‘almond mom’ trend is, understandably, not a popular attitude in the parenting world – mainly because of the implications on children’s mental health.
Paediatric dietitian Lucy Upton tells us: “Parents have a hugely formative role in the relationship children develop with food, their bodies and associated factors like self-esteem. This can start from a much earlier age than many parents realise, with children as young as the toddler years picking up on rules, language and behaviours around food.”
Here, we’ve explained what an almond mom is, how to spot one, and how to avoid passing on anxieties around food and diet to your children, and encourage healthy eating habits instead.
What is an ‘Almond Mom’?
An ‘almond mom’ is a parent who promotes unhealthy eating habits – often in the form of restrictive diets with a weight loss goal – that they then instil or try to instil in their own children.
Lucy explains further: “An almond mom is a term coined (largely via social media) to describe a parent who may impart their own disordered or ‘unhealthy’ beliefs or behaviours around food, body size and/or wellness onto their children.”
The term entered the mainstream following a resurfaced clip from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, in which former model Yolanda Hadid is on the phone with then-teenage daughter Gigi, who is now a supermodel herself.
Over the phone, Gigi tells her mother, “I’m feeling really weak. I had, like, half an almond”. Yolanda responded with “Have a couple of almonds, and chew them really well.”
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In Yolanda’s defence, she later explained to People that the clip had been taken out of context. Calling it a “silly narrative”, Yolanda explained, “I’d just got out of a six hour surgery to have my breast implants removed. The cameras were there because I wanted to bring awareness to the danger of breast implants.” She added that she had been “half asleep” when Gigi called.
But it’s not the first time Yolanda was filmed instilling some questionable eating habits in her children. In one episode that took place ahead of Gigi’s birthday party, Yolanda told her daughter, “You can have one night of being bad, right. Then you gotta get back on your diet, though. Because, you know, in Paris and Milan they like the girls just a tad on the skinny side.”
Yolanda Hadid might be an extreme example – she’s a former model and the mother of a model, so perhaps it’s unsurprising that she takes an alarming approach to diet and body image. But there are other parents out there who share this attitude when it comes to their children’s eating habits, just perhaps in more subtle ways.
Eating disorder dietician Karine Patel explains: “An almond mom is a mum who has an unhealthy obsession with ‘healthy eating’ or dieting. She pushes her kids to follow very restrictive eating behaviours or diets, for fear that her kids could become unhealthy or overweight.”
But it’s important to remember that Yolanda and her fellow almond moms are a product of their environment. How many times have you heard the phrases “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” or “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips”?
With the narrative that skinny = better continually pushed in popular media – and on women in particular – it’s hardly surprising that some parents are passing their anxieties about body image on to their children.
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Signs of an ‘Almond Mom’
- Parents who meal skip or have water instead of food when hungry
- Parents who may have concrete rules about foods that can or cannot be in the house
- Parents who may avoid eating with their children, or avoid social occasions where they or their children are exposed to certain foods
- Labelling food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’
- An obsession with your child’s body weight or size
- Constant monitoring of what your child is eating and commenting on it
- Anxiety or fear if a food that is ‘less nutritious’ is eaten
As Lucy Upton explains, “It’s important not to jump to blame or judgment around parenting and, in some instances, parents may not realise their eating or lifestyle habits are problematic.” This is especially the case if they have grown up during the era of diet culture themselves.
However, if you’re worried you might be embodying any of the behaviours above, it could be time to think about how you can better encourage a healthy attitude to food in your children.
The problem with Almond Moms
Promoting diet culture can have an impact on how children view food and their own body. This runs the risk of instilling unhealthy eating habits because of body dissatisfaction, fat phobia or chasing the ideal body image. It can also have a knock-on effect on self-esteem and mental health.
In fact, studies show us that parental disordered eating and family interactions both have an impact children’s eating behaviours. Research published in the Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics concluded that observing the eating behaviour of others influences children’s acceptance of foods, while findings from Cambridge University suggested that mothers who were preoccupied with their own weight and eating reported higher levels of restricting daughters’ food intake. The researchers said that this “may place daughters at risk for developing problematic eating behaviours.”
Karine Patel agrees with these conclusions. She tells us: “Almond moms can have a very negative impact on their kids – they can develop a bad relationship with food, strong anxiety around food or fear of eating, and it can lead to disordered eating or severe eating disorders in the future. They may also develop body dysmorphia and low self-esteem.”
And TikTok users have opened up about their own experiences of growing up with an almond mom, and how it affected them. One video captioned “POV [point of view]: home for xmas with my almond mom” showed a woman opening a cupboard full of snacks, inside which there was a toy pig that grunted as the cupboard door was opened.
In the comments, one user shared, “My mom is an almond mom and she used to lock the cabinet and even the fridge”. Another said, “I hope my mom doesn’t see this and takes it as an inspo”.
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How to stop passing on food anxieties on to your kids
Experts Lucy and Karine have shared their tips for helping children foster a healthy relationship with food, even if it’s something you might struggle with yourself.
- Trust your child’s appetite – encourage children to listen to their bodies, eating to their own appetite (not to specified volumes or timings)
- Serve a variety of colourful food and let your child choose what they want to eat on their plate
- Role model balanced eating habits, and eating the same meal together as much as possible
- Avoid labelling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’
- Don’t use food as a reward or punishment e.g. if you’re offering dessert, consider offering it alongside the rest if the meal, and don’t use it as bribery, reward or withhold it as ‘punishment’
- Involve and encourage kids to cook
If you’re looking for family meal ideas, check out these 25 budget dinners or these healthy fish recipes that kids will actually eat. Elsewhere, one study has revealed the surprising food item you can use to encourage your kids to eat more veggies.
After 10 years of NHS dietetic experience, Lucy founded The Children’s Dietitian to help parents who are exasperated and don’t know where to turn – when it comes to their little one’s feeding and eating. Drawing on her experience, she provides practical advice and genuine support when it comes to helping parents tackle their child’s feeding challenges.
Karine Patel is the director of Dietitian Fit and a member of the Health & Care Professions Council (HCPC) and the British Dietetic Association (BDA).
She holds a Bachelor of Science in Nutrition & Dietetics from McGill University in Montreal, Canada, and a Master of Science in Nutrition & Dietetics.
Whether you are a fussy eater or a big eater, Karine and her team are devoted to helping you discover the joys of tasty healthy eating and help you reach your goal for good, with no more dieting, feeling tired and restricted.
